White air at 19......................?

i m 19 year old....i have lots of white hair on my head....may b wat i can say is 40% white n 60% black....n i hate my self for this so muc...i jus dont like myself....my mom says its no acceptable for dying ur hair with black dye n strictly says no to colors as according to her it will make my hair go more white....she puts mehndi-heena in my hair...she says its d only thing safe...is she true...recently i got my hair with mehndi nd it turned into light red shade...m very very stressd do to this...n i always take much tension coz i hate myself n my life...problems n me r like shadows they can never go apart...pls somebody help me....plzzzzz